It wasn't until J-Fed got together with The Other Woman that I realized he had such an affinity for reptiles.
At that point, it had no real bearing on my life. Now, it's a different story. You see, no longer content with the cold-hearted snake, J-Fed has developed a yearning to integrate lizards into his life. Yes, creepy crawly lizards.
It all started a month or so ago when J-Fed and I were at war. We had been feuding miserably for at least a week. Right around that time daughter, who's going on eight, began showing an interest in reptiles. Maybe she had been spending too much time with T.O.W. I'll never will be sure which came first -- the chicken or the egghead -- but truth be told I'm guessing the grand idea came from her father.
As we perused the local Petsmart, daughter explained to me that she wanted a pet lizard, a request I immediately shot down.
"You know Mr. Ex's rule. Nothing else that poops or eats is allowed in our house."
And with good reason. On any given Sunday, our household includes Mr. Ex, Mr. Ex's mom, myself, our four kids and three dogs... all under one roof. Sometimes you just have to know when to say when. Can I get an a WHEN?
Regardless of where her interest stemmed from, it somehow turned into a reality when her father dropped the L word on me. I thought the issue was dead. Boy was I wrong. Obviously, daughter had resorted to plan B and decided to back door me.
At the pinnacle of our worst argument, daughter went in for the kill. In the midst of our verbal sparring, J-Fed sent a text message to my phone.
<i>Daughter won't be making it to dance today. We're off to buy a lizard.</i>
Kiki: Daughter IS going to dance. She has a commitment to attend.