Financial Abuse

I’m reading an excellent book and the author discusses financial abuse in marriages. Yes, financial abuse is a form of emotional battery. Surprisingly, it’s not something we talk about often or very openly. 

Women from all walks of life and income levels can be victims of financial abuse at the hands of their spouses. Typically, the first example we think of is the stay-at-home mom that has to beg for every dime and account for every penny she spends. The husband goes over the monthly banking statement, chastising her for spending $8.00 on gloves and demanding to know why she took $40.00 out of the ATM. I can imagine a woman in that position must feel diminished and inferior. 

Although stay-at-home moms can easily fall victim to financial abuse, so can working mothers, even working moms with significant salaries. Their husbands can misspend their own income on toys, trips, and excursions to the bar while the mom is forced to spend her entire income on the mortgage, bills, and groceries. She is unable to care for her own personal needs and forget about putting saving any money.  It’s very difficult to explain to someone how damaging financial abuse can be.

Many people can’t understand how a woman could “allow” herself to be in this position. I consider myself a strong, independent woman, yet I found myself being financially abused once. I trusted my ex. When he said he needed to use my credit card for purchases and cash advances and he said he’d pay me back, I believed him. Unfortunately, I realized after tens of thousands of dollars had been squandered that I wasn’t going to see a dime of it. It then became my problem to pay it all back, and I was accused of being, “Bad with money.”